Positive Resilience

Positive Resilience - Bouncing Back and Staying Strong.

“Our success doesn't depend on never falling in life, but on how we cope up and raise after every fall".

Some people are knocked down by challenges or problems, but they return as strong person than before. We call these people resilient. How is that possible..?

It’s the magic of Positive Resilience. In short it is bouncing back to normal state of functioning.

Many people from children, youngsters and adults face a lot of problems and sometimes take extreme steps due to lack of Positive Resilience.

We all have problems to face and overcome in life…

Life throws so many things at us like failing in a test, illness, accidents, falling out with others, setbacks and challenges. Quite often we fail…

Why is that….?

Some People bounce back i.e. Positive Resilience. While others crumble and shatter into pieces. It looks as if it’s becoming harder for young people to bounce back after setbacks.

Importance of Resilience:

Without resilience, the human species couldn’t have survived so many years of disasters and adversities, and grow into the most intelligent beings on this earth.

Resilience is a natural part of human survival experience after any major stressful event, like the Coronavirus pandemic. The resilient people are able to handle adversity and rebuild their lives after any disasters or problems.

Resilience is important as it gives us the strength to progress and overcome hardships in life. Those who lack a strong resilience can warp under pressure, and turn to unhealthy ways to cope with stress.

Factors which undermine Resilience in individuals are:

1. Treating Young people like infants:

Protecting young people like infants, not allowing them to take responsibilities make them behave like infants.

2. Spotlight on the individual:

Society focusses too much on individual’s feelings. This makes them think that they are center of attraction.

3. Black and White thinking:

Our Society thinks individuals as fixed entities and not changeable. It’s like people are born as good or bad or smart or stupid which paves way to exaggerate the significance of failure and difficulties.

4. I want it ALL now attitude: 

This is called Entitlement. Our Society makes people think that they are entitled. Living in a celebrity cultured world suggests success should be instant. As a result, effort and hard work lost its importance resulting in increase in self obsession and undermines resilience.

5. Wrapping up in Cotton Wool: 

Parents do not want their children to face any negative experiences in life. This means they are protecting their children from lies, knocks and blows.

6. Psychological cleanliness: 

Very important thing…Young people are brought up in a very clean and hygienic environment. Resilience is formed as a result of dealing setbacks.

7. Negative Emotions are wrong: 

People are afraid of negative emotions, try to suppress their emotions. Paradoxically, this causes more of negative emotions that they didn’t want.

8. Ignoring the importance of bad feelings:

People feel that bad feelings do not have a purpose. Bad feelings are like guilt, shame and frustrations are considered only as negative. But the truth is that bad feelings galvanize us to do things differently: We need them to succeed in our life.

9. The Need to be perfect: 

Society encourages people to believe that they need to be perfect in everything they do. This makes us to feel incomplete and again exaggerates our inevitable problems and difficulties. This undermines resilience when the person sees perfection is not attainable.

10. Too Many Choices:

Having too many choices make people not to choose, depressed, regret their choices and disturbed.

The above factors undermine people’s ability to bounce back.

Actually speaking,

Young people are not fragile. They can be linked to springs or balls. They can bounce back psychologically after they are knocked …its nature. 

Positive Psychology is a new science of optimal human functioning which makes people happier, more productive and more successful.It focusses on analyzing the strengths rather than weakness and failures. Risk and challenges are good for us. Focus on your inner strengths and environmental support factors.

Building Resilience involves two prolonged approach.

1. Personal coping Skills – CAN be developed.

2. Environmental Factors – You CAN change  things.

How to bounce back as an individual?

Here are some tips we should factor in our behavior and thoughts:

Hold High Expectations:  Think you are capable of taking up challenges. You can achieve your goal may be at different times. Remember that.

Focus away from the self: Most important thing is don’t think that you are the center of the universe. Don’t exaggerate every minor incident. Volunteer and help others.

People are not born SMART:   See intelligence and ability as something you need to work at. Always remember that all successful people in life have tasted failures. 

Failure leads to success:  View failure in a different way. Understand it is a learning opportunity. In fact talk about your failures you have overcome to people.

Don’t personalize: Sometimes you think that all negative things only happen to you. Learn to look setbacks as normal – infact everybody experiences them.

Bad Feelings are Normal: Learning anything worthwhile requires some frustrations. Bad feelings don’t lasts for a long time and remember that these feelings will pass .After all we are humans.

Don’t over worry: Life is full of ups and downs. Don’t protect yourselves from setbacks and risks. Make mistakes and learn from those.

Perfection doesn’t exist: Even the most accomplished people have flaws. There is no standard definition of Perfection. It’s important that you try to do your best rather be the best.

Learn People Skills: Young people are great learners. Learn Soft skills and Coping Skills. Self-awareness, mindfulness, self-care, positive relationships and purpose. By strengthening these skills, we in turn, become more resilient.

One Size does not fit all: Not everyone fit into one way of building resilience. So it is important to foster many different ways to bounce back.

Resilient people can say

  I HAVE people whom I trust and love.

  I AM a loveable person.

  I CAN  find ways to solve my problems.